You know what's weird? Thinking about Angola while the cold wind blows, the leaves are falling, and I'm comfy, cozy in an autumn sweater, with a NEWBORN. IN CANADA.
What has happened to our life? Is this even the same life?!?!
Let's rewind a bit and unpack how this all happened ... how we're processing ... and what's coming up in the future.
Let's roll back to July. School year comes to an end at our little international school. The school year ended with seven high school students (including two who live out of the city, but come in occasionally to catch up) all trying to finish up their courses so they could relax over the holidays. This is a mega-undertaking, since their courses are all online and require extensive work.
But we "finished" nonetheless, and then it was vacation time. I undertook a new project: organizing and cleaning the school and our fairly extensive library (think years of book donations). This was a very satisfying project for me, because I could familiarize myself with all of our resources, and at the same time, purge ones we don't use. I was all set for two months worth of cleaning until ...
News came that our insurance required me to come back to Canada a month earlier than I had planned. Okay ... so fast forward the cleaning, we're on a plane (Ethan and I, Marcel would follow a month later) ... and suddenly, we're Canadian again. Five months to spend in Canada as our mid-term/maternity break.
So what goes through a missionary's mind when they come back to Canada after two years in Africa?
Wow. Green grass. Clean cars. Big houses. Costco (overwhelming). Toys, toys, toys. Coffee shops and ice cream. Fast internet.
It's all a little overwhelming and intense at first. Not necessarily bad, but stark. Stark in how different it is from Angola. Stark in how organized, clean, new, and shiny everything is. Stark in how pleasantly, and blissfully wonderful life can be here ... compared to there.
Canadians ... we have it so good here. We are so very blessed to live where we do. Living overseas is teaching me not to take that for granted because it is certainly not the case for most people. And there's nothing wrong with that ... I think we should appreciate it, value it, thank God for it ... because for most of us, it's not something we've earned. It's not the result of a choice we made. It's something we were simply born into ...
I've had to learn to let go of judgment. Having seen the stark contrast of Angolan life--hard, dirty, poor, and basically "survival-mode", I feel judgment bubble up inside me when I see what we have in Canada. But then I see how kind and welcoming Canadians are. How many are trying to make a difference. How many love and serve others within the context they know here. How many give a significant portion of their incomes, their lives, and their energy to help others.
So if I could ask one thing of the Canadians who read this, it wouldn't be to move to Angola, or sell everything and give it to the poor. Though those would both be awesome, I think what should mark every Canadian, particularly every Christian Canadian, is thankfulness. A heart of gratitude for all the many things in our lives that God has provided without us ever asking or knowing different. A life of appreciation for the small things and the big things. A gratefulness for our great country and the way our forefathers worked together to build it.
Now, that just about covers the Canada side of things ... onto the newborn side of things! Wow ... we'll be going back to Angola not as a family of three, but as a family of four! Fun! And scary ...
Being back in Canada has been very good for thinking about the very many things that have happened over the last two years. And one of those things I know I need to process is my commitment to ministries. What can I continue when I get back? What do I need to give up now that I have another child?
Missionaries tend to be workaholics. We face constant need everyday--a lack of workers on the field, intense poverty, country-size issues that constantly wear and tear on the soul, problems with no easy solution. And because of this ... it becomes easy to over-commit, overwork and judge ourselves as "less than worthy" if we are not giving it our all to everyone, all the time.
I've come to remember again that raising children is a big ministry (just ask any stay-at-home mom) ... a high priority ministry. Not only that, but we are in an incredibly difficult and tiring stage of family life--the toddler and baby stage. It's no small deal--and therefore, I need to be okay with saying no to some things, and saying yes to my family.
So, having a newborn has been amazing (they sleep so much!) ... and I'm thankful for a healthy baby and healthy recovery ... and Ethan has been taking well to Avro ... and Marcel has been a great help! We are thankful to be in Canada for now but will definitely look forward to our own house come January!
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Playing in a "sandbox" full of corn! A true Canadian autumn experience. |
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Scoping out the pumpkin collection! |
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Soaking up the early October sun on my sister's porch with my best friend from
teacher's college and her husband! |
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Sushi ... so much sushi ... |
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Thanksgiving with the Snobelen side of the family! |
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At the Thamesville corn maze with grandpa! |
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At the corn maze. |
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Jumping on a big inflatable pillow! |
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Helping dig a new pillar for Erie and Darren's house. |
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Enjoying an Angolan tradition ... pizza night on Friday night, but with my sister and fiance! |
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Canada has so much fun stuff ... but not all of it is free! |
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Ethan's entered a train-obsessed phase ... trains and planes! |
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Cozy nights at Aunt Erie's house ... reading books! |
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Making new friends, and discovering all the delicious (and convenient) Canadian snacks! |
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Playing with Titus, Erie and Darren's mischievous cat! |
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Thumbs up for Mexican food! |
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The day after Marcel arrived, we were already visiting a hangar ... (oh and check out that beard!) |
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We might have discovered Avro's name at the Canadian Warplane Museum. |
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Hanging out with Auntie Riss, Uncle B, Amos, and Mason. |
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Not biological family, but spiritual family! |
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We had a few friendly visitors for our London Open House! |
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It was a bit cold, but we still took advantage of the BBQ season! |
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Ethan being all cute ... |
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Celebrating our five-year anniversary a little late in Toronto ... but worth the wait! |