Marcel and Kelly Boers: "He who has called you will be faithful!"

This past weekend at Women's Retreat, I had the opportunity to open up in a rare moment of vulnerability. I had the chance to share about something that I had felt heavy on my heart for some time ... but had failed to acknowledge until, at 12:30 am, while fitful and sleepless, I had no choice but to acknowledge it.

You see, for some time now, I have been struggling with this feeling of inadequacy. Questions like "Why would God chose me to be a missionary?" and "How will God ever use me?" have been circling around in my head, as I look back at my own track record and think, "Am I even qualified to be a missionary?"

Here is what I know to be true about my life:

I have failed to follow God many times in obedience.
I have not always found the words to say to share about the wonderful saving grace of Jesus with some of my closest friends, family members, or even random strangers.
I continue to struggle with reluctance--reluctance to speak about Jesus, reluctance to open up my life to someone who might need more help that I am willing to offer, reluctant to serve God in tough situations.
I have not always been aware or attuned to how God wants to use me in different situations.
I have purposely "shut out" God's voice when it's been inconvenient.

But, as I lay in bed on Friday night, God's magnificent voice spoke to me and spoke these more important, more eternal truths in to my life. He then reaffirmed many of them the next day in Shelley's talk:

God has never failed me, never given up on me, and He will never leave me.
God's forgiveness is complete--when Christ died on the cross, it was to cover all of my sins ... the ones I have committed and will commit.
God is in the process of sanctifying me--every day, I will mess up many times, but God is growing me, teaching me, disciplining me to make me more and more like Jesus.
God is with me. This was the big one. Isaiah 41: 10, 13 says, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. For I hold you by your right hand--I the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you.'"
And finally, God has a plan. A plan to use me to bring Him glory. It may not be my plan, but it will be the best plan.

God is with me. I was greatly encouraged by Shelley's illustration from Isaiah 41, that God is holding my right hand with His right hand. It's not us walking side by side--rather, it's more like a beautiful dance. God dancing with me through life, taking the lead--if I let Him.

I want to end in a word of encouragement. Do you feel inadequate? Do you feel struggle with the same questions I did, but maybe in a different area of life? Don't let your past--your track record--be the main voice leading your life. God is in the business of using broken, messed up people to do amazing things. He's in the business of redeeming track records. Talk to Him and trust Him daily.

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful!" 1 Thes. 5:24